Member – Q & A

Q & A Sessions with Dr. Huizenga

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Questions Responded to in the Q & A

5 Ways You are Brainwashed about Infidelity


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do you see a difference between emotional and social media versus physical infidelity

you mention in your book that in affair num, 4 the person can have very uncomfortable feelings if he gets in touch with his emptiness, what type of uncomfortables feelings are this? could you elaborate on that?

what if the cheating spouse is so filled assume in guilt and shame that they detach from the spouse and family and leave the home but not having an affair no more . what should the betrayed spouse do if cs is completely stone walling

I would think with most affairs, the cheating spouse blames the affair on their other. They essentially convince us that if only we only would have given them what they needed, this would not have happened! they make us feel so guilty!! what to do?

Unique issue. Our 2nd of 4 sons passed away unexpectedly. 6 months later, a coworker, reached out to my husband thru linked-in. Thus began email and texting for 4 months until I discovered. Some lunches, dinner. No physical relationship, not attracted to her. Stated it was a diversion from all the sadness. He liked her but had no future plans. She did.. he didn’t. Flirting in emails I have read. He stopped when I found out, moved out for 6 weeks. Added so much hurt to a tragic situation. Said he would not have done this if our son had not died and she had not approached him. I cannot move past this and it has been almost 1 yr.

if the affair has ended, it was an affair num4, and I want to talk about what happened, to know the truth about it, but I’m not sure if it is good as the OP would be mentioned and you recommend not to allow the spouse to talk about the OP in affair num4, does this rule still applies after the affair has ended?

how do I expose the brainwashing or stand above it when the OW is still in the picture although the affair seems over

Dr. Huizenga – My wife had an affair, we tried to restore our marriage but a year later she wants a divorce. The divorce has been minimized (In my view) and my wife insists the request for divorce is for all the other reasons. Thoughts? Follow Up: There is an option on the table for me to move out and take a “break” for a time … a year. Is that helpful or would only make it worse? We have kids, the youngest being 4.

why is it so hard to stop spying on your spouse when they are having an emotional affair online?