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30 ways coaching was helpful:

• Confirmation or validation of thoughts/feelings and the relief of being able to discuss the situation with a professional.
• The lessening of pain.
• Support from someone who gets it -availability -great resource material that has become a bible.
• Helped gain my emotional & mental strength.
• Better prepared mentally for what happens next, what might happen next.
• Helped me better understand & possibly interpret what what was said during conversations/email/arguments with spouse.
• It was good to bounce off feelings and thoughts. Most important to me was the “feeling” that I was being supported by an expert in the field.
• As I reacted to my wife it was valuable to check in and see if my reactions were valid.
• I felt that Dr. Huizenga had a great deal of empathy with me and helped me to feel calm.
• I became more ’empowered’ with my situation and adapted my behavior according to what worked best.
• My approach with my husband became less confrontational.
• I was able to stay more focused. There were issues I really wanted to discuss with my husband, but couldn’t. However, I could bring them up during coaching sessions, and we could actually talk (with Bob’s help of course).
• The one benefit that I didn’t expect was the anticipation of my coaching appointment. It felt like the days between could be handled with what I had learned as I had a destination point to look forward to.
• When I would talk through different situations, the re-enforcement that Bob would give me about the actual power that I didn’t realize I was using, gave me the freedom to acknowledge and accept that power so it grew and was even more a part of me.
• I felt more confident as I moved through the situation I was dealing with.
• I felt more in control and more proactive in the situation.
• I had tools to deal with my husband and even phrases to say which helped me deliver what I needed to say.
• I appreciated the listening aspect of your coaching and you are very good at reiterating and more clearly defining what I said.
• I found it most helpful when you would offer your insight on the situation.
• I know you can’t predict what will happen but using your experience to tell me what you see happening in my husbands actions and words helped me to see it better. Sometimes the glimmers of hope that I have get in the way of seeing the bigger picture clearly.
• It was really great to have someone with so much experience so easily available to provide support and CONCRETE suggestions.
• It was the understanding and listening and letting me know that I was doing all I could do and it wasn’t my fault.
• Someone to suggest things to do and say to them.
• Someone I could lean on and knew I was good person and not nuts like they try to make you believe.
• Understanding that I was not alone. Could be told what was “normal.”
• I had someone with knowledge of how to get me to figure out what I want to do and how to go about it.
• I learned the exact words to share with my partner to express what I was trying to say. this was especially helpful as I was trying to do the work needed to successfully confront our problem.
• Helped me understand my wife’s personality type and why she was behaving as she was.
• Gave me confidence and strategies to realize there was life after my wife’s leaving me.
• Helped me to accept that I had done all I could to save the marriage but that sometimes despite this you cannot alter what the other person has decided.