How to End the Infidelity Pain

and Begin Repairing Your Relationship

DR. BOB HUIZENGA

25,000+ client hours as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Author: First and Best Selling E-book, “Break Free From the Affair.”
Success You can TRUST

You are at the right place.

How do I know that?

Well, I assume you are…

  • determined to have something better
  • you have the courage to seek out something better
  • you’re open, seeking and want to learn.
  • you have sensitivity and compassion
  • And, you are in pain.

You want to move beyond your pain.

You want a relationship of TRUST, honesty,
mutual acceptance and respect.

I have resources developed over years of working professionally with people that will help you…

  • Find Fast Relief and get Quick Results
  • and THEN Work Toward Permanent Change you can TRUST

The Problem:

Common Sense Approaches Do Not Work

You are taught and assume that affairs are based on common sense.

So, various “common sense” helpers tell you to do one of three things…

  • Some say… give an ultimatum. Kick em out. Use tough love. Don’t put up that crap! S/he is not worth it. Stand up for yourself.
  • Some say… pretend you are NOT in pain and agony. The affair will fizzle and they will come back some day. Don’t rock the boat. Be nice, accommodate. Try to meet their needs and win them back.
  • Some say… Make changes. Learn to communicate better. Push for couples counseling. Begin working on the marriage. Become more attractive. Go on a self improvement kick.

Affairs are Acts of
Temporary Insanity

Why in the world would your spouse risk loss of reputation and personal respect, loss of job, loss of contact with children and family, financial ruin and loss of internal peace and well being for a relationship that fails 90% of the time and will only last temporarily????

Doesn’t make sense!

I’ve discovered over the past 3 decades of research, study and clinical experience with untold couples that common sense approaches do NOT work with infidelity.

Couples counseling, learning communication skills, meeting needs, pretending you are not in pain so they will come back or being tough, putting down the law, leaning new skills or going on a self improvement kick don’t work.

(And if there is a hint of success, it’s because you got lucky and aligned your effort with the type of affair. Or there is a coming back together out of fear and/or guilt which will implode later into a bigger crisis.)

You Need Not be Stuck for Years or Even Weeks

I’ve heard horror stories of some wallowing in the pain of betrayal for years!

Can you imagine that – a life consumed by mistrust, anger and pain year after year?

I’ve encountered too many swirling in the confusion and discouragement of using Common Sense Approaches.

This Has Helped Thousands Like You

I’ve developed the Infidelity Recovery Center containing resources from my research and clinical practice, proven successful for literally thousands of people struggling like you.

Your resources are the “reawakening of my soul” which I have been searching for. I have beaten myself up so much looking for answers as to what I could have done differently to prevent this latest affair in a string of affairs, and of course in the process have destroyed what self-confidence I had left.
Bev
Actually, your materials to people devastated by infidelity saved my life.
Alex
…being reminded that it wasn’t about love, rather it was temporary insanity is what keeps me feeling less hurt and humiliated about it all. Thanks to all your modules I have been guided by..we are doing well, and he really has done everything and then some to rebuild this marriage along with my trust. Thank You again for your wisdom..xo
Ardene

You Get Quick Results
and Fast Relief

A devastatingly powerful pain wrenches your soul and body when you discover infidelity.

Other than the fact that it hurts beyond belief, there are a couple other problems the pain brings.

  • The pain gets in your way. You say things that create more distance and misunderstanding. You shoot yourself in the foot, “Dang, why did I say that, do that?” You lash out in your pain, crying for help, change and resolution. (And, of course, you partner can’t or doesn’t want to truly hear you and backs away even further.)
  • At the center of your pain are terribly negative and destructive thoughts. “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? If only I shoulda woulda coulda. Your pain spirals your self esteem to dangerous lows.

You need relief from the pain to manage yourself better and experience success and you need it NOW!

Once I began to specialize and focus on infidelity in my private practice some 15 years ago, I made a vow: I would develop materials that helped people and couples change FAST and would provide relief QUICKLY.

No more wallowing week after week or even year after year.

Success You Can TRUST

What others say…

As one of your members, I just wanted to say thank you for your web site and for all you do to help others get through such a difficult time in their lives. Thanks again for your site because it helps put me back on the path of reality and truth and gives me comfort and hope. May God bless.
Carol
Actually, your materials to people devastated by infidelity saved my life.
Alex
Dr. Huizenga: I have read every book I could get my hands on over the last two-and-a-half years since I knew my husband was involved with another woman. His affair lasted two years and has been ended for almost ten months. With all of the top-ranked “affair/infidelity” and “relationship” books on the market, I thought I had the best information available to help me, and my husband, not only end his affair but to get through the tough times following it. Was I ever wrong! You have produced the most helpful, useful and relevant material on dealing with your partner’s affair that I have ever seen. You include vital information that no other source contains.
Yvonne

Two Phases of Successful Recovery

Phase 1: Get Results and Relief in 48 Hours

The Infidelity Recovery Center contains the best of my materials found most helpful for couples and individuals.

The first Three Levels of the Infidelity Recovery Center are the “Quick Start Package.”

As you work through the first 3 Levels I guarantee you will experience change within 48 hours.

Something WILL shift; within you, your parter or between both.

Begin with Level 3, the Affair Recovery Level, which contains the first and best selling ebook, “Break Free From the Affair.”

Step 1: Begin to Rethink Infidelity – Level 3 – Affair Recovery

Where does your pain come from?

It’s pretty simple when you stop to think about it: pain comes from your thoughts.

  • When you think about them being intimate (maybe with frighteningly clear images) and sharing what you used to share, you feel the jealousy, the pain and the anger.
  • When driving down the road, you are not thinking about driving, you are thinking about the affair and the feelings are stirred.
  • Even at 2:30 in the morning, you toss and turn, doing what? Thinking!

Where do these thoughts come from?

These thoughts were born with the “Common Sense” beliefs about infidelity you were taught. (For example, your partner “fell in love” with someone else! Not! Learn more about this.)

Feel relief from infidelity when you reprogram your infidelity thinking.

Once you understand the TRUTH about infidelity, an inner peace and knowing emerge that quickly propels you into resolution.

I’m doing good and I am very proud of myself. I HAVE NOT BROUGHT UP THE AFFAIR SINCE WE LAST SPOKE!!!! I have stopped obsessing. I actually THINK before speaking….what do you think of that? I’m paying attention to my tone of voice and more importantly I am retraining my self talk and I like what I am hearing. LIFE IS GOOD AND A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!
Alicia

It Takes 2 Hours to Learn the TRUTH

Your first step is to read “Break Free From the Affair” found in Level 3.

“Break Free From the Affair” has impacted thousands and in a concise but thorough manner invites you to look at infidelity in a radically different and freeing way.

The first e-book on infidelity, “Break Free From the Affair” written in 2002, has been used by tens of thousands to help a alleviate the pain of infidelity, determine the type of affair and create a strategy that changes of the course of the affair and the marriage.

  • Learn why you are not at fault
  • Begin to pinpoint the type of affair facing you
  • Determine which strategy works best
  • Discover the length of the affair and how it will end
  • Answer this CRITICAL questions about your relationship
  • Understand the hidden motives behind the affair

What they say…

It was amazing how the type of affair my wife was having just jumped out at me. Knowing that, and what to expect, has given me hope that there will be a resolution. Thanks.
Bob
Dear Dr. Huizenga, I just read your “Break Free From the Affair” and all I can say is thank you. I was on an emotional roller coaster when I found out that my wife was having an affair (#4). Everything you said about the typical reactions for the offended were dead on. Everything you mentioned, I was going through (I was miserable). You helped me more than anyone or any resource ever did. It was uncanny how accurate everything was.
Karl
Identifying the kind of affair made such a big difference in my state of mind. “I cant’ say No” brought it all home for me. I have confronted him before, but he tells me I’m crazy and paranoid. He is such a smooth operator.
Judy
Your E-book is a tremendous help. I reread it anytime I start feeling that things are getting out of control. It helps put things in perspective. Thanks for the help
Karin

Step 2: Do something different

The Common Sense misconceptions about infidelity keep you stuck.

For example, hundreds have relayed to me that when they discovered the infidelity they went on a crusade to tell them how much they loved them and things could work out.

Doesn’t work.

Access Level 2: the 48 Hour Infidelity Boot Camp

Download and study the “6 Killer Mistakes that Most Make that Prolong the Affair and Your Agony” in this level.

I outline in this report the 6 most prominent and common Killer Mistakes that prolong the affair and your misery and, in reality, probably strengthen the bond of the affair relationship (depending on the type of affair.)

Stop any and all of these Killer Mistakes and notice the differencein how you feel and most likely, the response from your partner.

I have felt like a hamster, trapped in a wheel, going around and around through despair, anger, confusion; wondering how this could have happened, what I did wrong, what to do next etc…Your material is just fantastic and you will never know how much you have helped me through this terrible painful time.
Karen
I will say..THE SINGLE MOST EFFECTIVE ADVICE I got immediately from your Boot Camp was to STOP TALKING, It seemed counter intuitive but it was amazingly helpful. Talking got us no where and the more we “talked”, the less belief I had in the relationship. My NEED to talk was calmed by the tools your Center provides. YES….it’s been very helpful.
Gina
Your Boot Camp helped tremendously. If it were not for it, I would have have done all the wrong things. At least now my husband is open to dialog!!
Sue

Shift From “Affair Thinking” to “Recovery Thinking”

In Level 2 – the Boot Camp – I talk about the critical importance of shifting from “Affair Thinking” to “Recovery Thinking.”

“Recovery Thinking” creates a barrier between you and your pain.

It enables you to get your emotional “legs” under you so you refuse to react to your cheating partner – which often drives them closer to their “lover.”

The 48 Hour Infidelity Boot Camp contains a critical element of your recovery: a 2 hour webinar: “How to Stop the Affair: Introduction and Key Principles” (Video, Audio file to download, Recovery Scorecard and background reading.)

I present Key Principles to guide you in surviving the affair and reframe your understanding of infidelity.

(click drop down menu:)

Learnings from the Webinar

 

Resources in Level 1, The Introduction Level

Who is Dr. Bob Huizenga?

Learn more about the background, mission and experience of Dr. Huizenga

Is Your Relationship Emotionally and Physically Safe?

In the 90s one of my clients was stabbed to death by her husband. I take your safety very seriously. In this module I offer an extensive survey that helps determine your level of safety and actions steps if needed.

Should you share this information with your spouse?

That decision is based on 4 key factors which I share in this Module.

7 Types of Affairs Cheat Sheet

Use this cheat sheet to begin your process of pinpointing the type of affair.

Cheater, Cheater, Affair Repeater

Affairs are messy. They are always selfish and very painful. Cheater, Cheater Affair Repeater is a great introduction to the seven types of affairs.

Q&A with Dr. Huizenga

A compilation of infidelity Q & A, answered and addressed personally by Dr. Robert Huizenga. This report addresses common questions dealing with internet cheating, emotional affairs, dealing with the other person (OP), children of affairs, and more…

Overcome 3 Common Barriers to Resolving Your Crisis

When a marriage crisis invades your life you find it extremely difficult to maintain your focus on the core issues in your marriage crisis. I describe 3 Powerful common barriers and ways to shift and maintain your focus, enabling you to build a relationship you trust will last forever.

How to Focus and Finish Resolving Your Marital Crisis

An introduction to Personal Coaching. To feel less isolated, rebuild your emotional power, move toward resolution of your crisis and speak more powerfully use Personal Coaching. Accelerate your healing. Focus. Finish.

Q&A Sessions Module – Download Audios for Listening

Watch the videos, read the transcripts or download the audio of the 21 half hour Q&A session with Dr. Huizenga as he responds to live participants. You will find a wealth of practical information and powerful interactions that keep you on your recovery path.

Infidelity IQ – 42 T/F Brain Teasers

Answer these 42 True/False questions about infidelity. Click the submit button to see your answers, your score and the correct answers. A brain teaser that helps you rethink infidelity.

Resources in Level 2, 48 Hour Infidelity Boot Camp

Resources in Level 3, the Affair Recovery Level

How to “Get Over It: for Good

… transform your experience of arguments and upsets in your relationships. Rather than avoiding confrontation and “walking on eggshells”, you will be able to safely and constructively talk about things that are hard to talk about.

The Cheating Spouse Guide

This guide, written by someone who has been-there-done-that, includes effective ways to find out if your mate is cheating. This material is very useful for anyone who suspects sexual affairs or cyber affairs.

Keep Your Marriage

Ten Important Questions to Ask Yourself. These questions will Tell you if Saving Your Marriage is possible. Also..

  • Twenty-one Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make
  • Sixteen Ways to Take Care of yourself
  • Twenty-five Ways to Deepen Your Relationship
  • Twelve Ways to Expand your Inner Skills

Support and Peer Input

You have access to Dr. Huizenga’s private Facebook Support Group with over 20,000 members. Read, learn and participate if you like.

I think i just had my “bing” moment!! Oh my gravy ,dr. Bob it all makes perfect sense now. I mean i know the work isn’t done, not by a far stretch, but after going through your modules i felt a sudden calm fall over me that ive never experienced!! Suddenly I can breathe!!! THANK YOU FROM BOTTOM OF MY LESS ACHING HEART!! THANK YOU!!!
Tim
Thank you for helping me through a painful healing journey. My husband and I are back on track with our marriage of 25 years. Warm Regards.
Del
I live in Eastern Europe, in Poland. learnt about my husband’s affair and began looking for any help. I visited therapist, the only advice I heard was “If you really love your husband you have to let him go.” But I did not give up…from my friend I get phone number to the therapist who heard about your methods. The results were amazing !!! Our family survived and our 4 children are happy having both parents.Thank you Bob!
Hanna

I just touched on a couple resources in the Quick Start Package – Levels 1-3 – that are most helpful.

There are many more resources in the Quick Start Level, too many to go into detail.

Click these Drop Down Menus to discover additional Recovery Resources:

Phase 2: Act with Purpose and Confidence It’s Time to Make a Calculated Move

Let’s review.

In Phase 1 you read “Break Free From the Affair” and realize that affairs are complex and different.

You felt relief and hope. You began to truly understand and perhaps even had a glimmer of compassion for your cheating partner.

In the first 48 hours you were encouraged to stop the Killer mistakes, create some emotional “space” and reorient your thinking.

You also devoured the other resources and you began to understand the difference between “Affair Thinking” and “Recovery Thinking.”

But, you kept all this to yourself.

You feel much better and your partner is not sure what you are up to.

You now have your emotional legs under you and refuse to react.

The DANGER is to stop here.

When your pain lessens you are tempted to take a break. ( I often helped clients feel better quickly and they were gone. Only months or years later did they call me again with the same problem, only worse!)

You are now ready for Phase 2.

Phase 2 of the Recovery Process means taking Calculated ACTION.

Make a 3 Month Commitment

You want to make sure this NEVER happens again.

You don’t want to let up on yourself, your partner or your marriage.

Take the next 3 Months to pinpoint and experiment. Discover what you can say or do that will WORK.

And, if you get stuck, set up some coaching and I will help you dig beneath the surface to find out EXACTLY what you want to say and do that brings out the best in you and your marriage or relationship.

There is ALWAYS more that you can say or do. (Some say to me, “I’ve said it all!” I say, “No way, there is ALWAYS another level of understanding and intimacy.)

Pinpoint EXACTLY What to Say and Do

Now it’s time to speak up or act powerfully and effectively.

The Advanced Recovery Level of the Infidelity Recovery Center offers tested, proven and successful resources to guide you.

You have workbooks, videos, checklists and other formats at your finger tips to go into detail until you find something that applies to YOUR situation and WORKS.

Here’s an example.

What if your type of affair is the “I Want to be Close to Someone…but Cant’ Stand Intimacy”type of affair.

Here’s what the Module looks like in Level 4, the Advanced Recovery Level. Note the 3 tactics you may use.

Affair #7 - Sample - I Want to be Close to Someone...but can’t stand intimacy

I discovered this site while surfing for other positive one regarding infidelity. Dr.Huizena provides useful info even if you’re the ws but mostly for the bs. I have just started to use it and already feel better about myself and life in general. check it out!!

Immerse Yourself in
“Recovery Thinking”

For three months train to think differently about infidelity and your marriage or relationship.

Keep your mind focused, clear and consistent.

Your mind will want to slide back to the old catastrophic thinking. Nip it in the bud with Recovery Thinking.

Become an expert in infidelity. Absorb as much as you can, so you never have to deal with nightmare again.

For example, make use of my “17 Real Time Coaching Audios with personal review.”

17 Live Coaching Sessions with Review

Download to your device. Listen. Learn. Identify the situation that best fits you. Know you are not alone.

Use the resources in the Tool Box – checklists, exercises that keep you thinking, reflecting and on target.

Here’s your bedtime reading: 4 best selling ebooks on everything from a-z about infidelity.

Your Assignment

If you are like most, you are confused in near panic mode and feel reluctant to make decisions and be decisive.

I know that. And, well you should be as you encounter this new world of betrayal and mistrust.

I want to make this a clear and easy for you as possible.

Here is a summary of your assignment.

Sign up now for the Quick Start Package and Advanced Recovery Level of the Infidelity Recovery Center.

Begin Phase 1, the 48 Hour Quick Start Package in the next 5 minutes.

  • Read and reflect on the types of affairs in “Break Free From the Affair.”
  • Learn about the 6 Killer Mistakes and refrain from using them.
  • Use the other resources in the Quick Start Package – Level 1-3.

Begin Phase 2 two days from now.

  • Pinpoint what you can say and do that will have the most impact.
  • Continue religiously to use the resources in the Advanced Recovery Level to maintain your Recovery Thinking.
I want you to know that your course helped me far more then any of the others because it was straight forward, real and doable.
Peggy
Your materials are very helpful–one of the best “affair” sites on the web.
Amy
Thank-you for the Infidelity Recovery Center. I bought it last night and it has been very eye-opening. It is wonderful that just when I needed some practical and sound advice, I found your site on the internet. I’ve got a lot of things to work through, as I just uncovered concrete evidence of my husbands’ continuing years-long affair with his receptionist. Your Center has helped me greatly already.
Peggy

Bonus: 15 Minute Trial Coaching Session with me Personally

Here’s a special BONUS – while it lasts.

If, at any time during the 48 hours you are really struggling, confused, want direction or have a need to talk through your situation, email me and I will set up a 15 minute consultation via phone or gotomeeting.

15 minutes may seem like a short period of time, but I’m good at getting to the heart of your situation offering affirmation and possible directions.

Yes, I offer a FREE 15 minute trial coaching consultation.

  • I want you to succeed.
  • I want to be there for you, personally.
  • I want you to know you are not alone.

Now, I’m not sure how long this offer will last, considering my schedule, etc. but for right now, this offer is on the table.

 

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Quickstart Package” (Levels 1-3) and the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4” of the “Infidelity Recovery Center”… for ONLY 3 monthly payments of $97.

100% Money Back Guarantee…

If you are one of the small percentage who do not find any part of the “Quickstart Package” or the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level” helpful in the next 30 days. I’ll refund your money. No Questions asked.

You Get Value

You get the best of me.

I’ve poured years into discovering what works best and most permanently for couples and individuals who face the devastation of infidelity.

I know my “stuff” works. The countless enthusiastic and grateful emails, phone calls and messages over the years confirm that I’m on the right track.

…I started Monday night and by Tuesday, I felt really good. I felt like I could control everything and not have him in my thoughts every second
beth
Hello Bob! I just want to tell you that this is the most pertinent information I have ever read about true emotional connection! Everything you say is the bottom line in my marriage. I wish my husband and I had done these things a long time ago—–maybe, just maybe, his infidelity wouldn’t have been so extreme. Thank you so much for it and all of your insight!
Jan

A Value Laden Price

You receive not only proven quality materials but you receive them at a bargain rate.

Here are the monetary values I place on what you will receive to work through the two phases of Recovery:

Resource Monetary Value
Quick Start Package – Level 1
$318
Quick Start Package – Level 2
$168
Quick Start Package – Level 3
$130
Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4
$482
15 Minute Trial Coaching Session
$80
Total
$1178

You get this $1178 Monetary Value for 3 manageable payments of only $97.

But, it’s not merely the money is it?

You helped me more than anyone or any resource ever did. It was uncanny how accurate everything was. Dr. Huizenga, you saved me from so much pain and anguish, now I have the power, the knowledge and the confidence to go on with my life.Thank you for everything! Kelly PS. I would have paid ten times more if I knew how truly Powerful it was.
Kelly

The relief, the hope, the guidance and results you will receive are truly priceless.

Click the Add to Cart button below and for only $97 you GAIN IMMEDIATE ACCESS to the “Quick Start Package” and “Advanced Affair Recovery” of the “Infidelity

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Quickstart Package” (Levels 1-3) and the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4” of the “Infidelity Recovery Center”… for ONLY 3 monthly payments of $97.

100% Money Back Guarantee…

If you are one of the small percentage who do not find any part of the “Quickstart Package” or the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level” helpful in the next 30 days. I’ll refund your money. No Questions asked.

I feel much better.. For the longest time, I have played the role of the “victim” and blamed myself for my wife’s actions. All I would do is try harder to please her to see if it would “bring her around” but it obviously has not worked. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I appeared to be a wimp and that is what caused her to go look elsewhere. I am now employing your strategies and I think my wife knows that I suspect something has happened.
Jim
I have shared part of the Infidelity Recovery Center with my “affair” mentors and they were really impressed. The type of affair was very clear and heartbreaking at the same time. But, I believe, as long as there is life, there’s hope. Even if my husband is a #2.
Dianne
Thanks Bob, I feel I have some direction in how to pick up the pieces and make decisions that will be good instead of destructive. Anything that takes my mind off what I’m feeling is helpful. If I learn something from the information as well as gaining a distraction, and we can get past this hurdle, the information in the Center is nothing except a GODSEND. I thank you for your service to humankind. I think you are truly one gifted being working to eliminate some pain and suffering from this world. I’ll be happy to mention your work to others. Thanks once again.
Laurie

Begin Your Recovery in 5 Minutes

Once you click the add to cart button and sign up, you will receive an email with your Username and Password that will take you to the Login Page for the Infidelity Recovery Center.

The login page looks like this.

Image what it will feel like within a few hours as you feel the relief and begin to experience that catastrophic thoughts melt!

Don’t Forget

You will have the opportunity to speak directly to me.

You will have the opportunity to tap into my experience and wisdom and we together will get on you the Recovery path.

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Quickstart Package” (Levels 1-3) and the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level 4” of the “Infidelity Recovery Center”… for ONLY 3 monthly payments of $97.

100% Money Back Guarantee…

If you are one of the small percentage who do not find any part of the “Quickstart Package” or the “Advanced Affair Recovery Level” helpful in the next 30 days. I’ll refund your money. No Questions asked.

Thanks again – a bit of a Lifesaver, aren’t you?
Jasmine
I was in a state of rage and some of the words calmed me and gave me direction.
Miki
Bob, Your information has been invaluable in my effort to find my way out of a 2 1/2 year mess…
Jim
Your Modules kept me from going out of my mind. Thank you
Suzane

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